By Royal Calkins
It’s the week before Christmas when the nights grow colder
The days get shorter, the bell ringers get bolder
To some it’s a merry time, days of big cheer
To others, it’s more of a chore even more so this year
The season descends on everyone but it’s not all the same
For some it’s truly holy, for some it’s kinda lame
But it’s still a time to take stock, to add the profits and losses
To reward the workers and ignore the worst of the bosses
Looking back on the year brings smiles to some faces
Because the local elections dealt us hands filled with aces
On the national scene, things were less of a success
Because the man in the White House is an unqualified mess
Bob Mueller is making like Santa filling stockings with subpoenas
Which leaves many of us laughing like hyenas
But the indictments fell short, impeachment plans were in a stall
Giving the Trumpster time to play his courses and stroll down his mall
Best to forget him for now, him and his tweets
And focus instead on candy canes and other dumb treats.
And on our neighbors, our friends, our kids and our readers
Who sustain us, and help us far more than most leaders
So a shout out to those who made 2018 at least good, maybe better
Let’s start with Neil Shapiro and knit him an Xmas sweater
For helping spread truth about the Carmel lawyers in suits
And the mayor with whom they were all in cahoots
Say bon voyage then to chipper Steve Dallas and dour Carolyn Hardy
Who won’t be around to wreck this holiday party
On a happier note, a holiday welcome to Tyller W. and nice Jon Wizard
A drumstick for Jeff Baron and for Dave Potter a big gizzard
Bon voyage to Timmy Barrett, Kimbley Craig and jolly Ralph Rubio
In a Christmas band, he’d play bells, she guitar and him a fat tubio.
The brightest star this year in the whole Peninsula sky
Was Measure J, of course, which made us all as high
As the shake and bud in all those new stores
Filled with edibles to spice up those chocolately S’Mores
A giant toast now to George Riley, Melodie Chislock, Ron Weitzman, Michael Baer
The way they smashed Cal Am Water, it seems almost unfair
The water folks like Tilden and Steadman and tricky Ricky Heuer
Don’t deserve Christmas crab, they should wait in the foyer
Toss some holiday sparkles at Irwin Speizer, Mary Adams and Kate Daniels
May Yuri Anderson’s stocking be filled with super cute spaniels
The ink-stained wretches cannot be forgotten this season
Though some days there is so little news that there’s hardly a reason
To get out of bed and call all their sources
Just so the news can be delivered next week via horses
But forgot them we won’t, not Felix Cortez, Christopher Salas, or Pamela Marino
For Julie Reynolds’ holiday beverage, let’s sneak in a maraschino
For Claudia Meléndez Salinas, Marcos Cabrera and nice Kathy McKenzie
Holiday greeting cards filled with cleverness and whimsy
Larry Parsons might growl at any present other than coal
So I might as well hold on to that shiny fishing pole
Joe Livernois deserves a year without stress or at least no flu
My present for Paul Miller is a nicely wrapped clue
Michael Hendrick, Mary Barker, and all the others at CHOMP
Deserve freshly pressed scrubs wherever they roam
Some figgy pudding for Jason Campbell, Craig Malin and Tommy Mancini
But just a dab for Howard Gustafson, who has been kind of a weenie
A tip of our cap to the seed man David Duke, but not that David Duke
For that David Duke gets nothing but a rebuke
The Mikas, of course, the Gigers and even Jan Shriner
Should unwrap gift cards or lotto tickets or something even finer
Under the mistletoe, Judy Lehman, Molly Erickson, Michael Stamp
With Bill Monning, Gordon Smith and Denese Leonard, she is such a scamp
Did I mention Karen Ravn, who’s recuperating as I write
May her 2019 be much better or at least all right
A bundle of Huggies and baby toys for Laith Agha, Nader’s boy,
And for Sara Rubin, some days off so she can discover her joy
A wave of warm wishes for Robert Montgomery, Susan Meister, Jane Haines
May the next year bring you many more smiles and fewer pains
Greg Furey deserves stockings filled with gold
Alison Kerr should be the DRO mayor until she gets old
Gail Morton, Bruce Delgado, the Amadeos and Greg Brown
Should start a parade in Marina’s phantom downtown
I could keep going but I fear I’m running out of rhymes
There’s a shortage of doggerel in these days and these times
OK, a little more for Mary Duan, Larry Parrish, the Turners Jeanne and Dan
Everyone on Harper Canyon, the unions, and Michael’s cousin Stan
A shout-out to Olivia C, Anna C, Miles Ray and all of his folks
And Dean and Denise down the road who shared their duck yolks
There really comes a time though when I can’t slip in
Another piece of nonsense no matter how thin
I’d be straining even harder if I wrote about Richards, Bobby
Though I’d gladly help him escort Mozingo to the lobby
So celebrate, reflect, recharge, relax or whatever
Here’s wishing you the best last week of December
Have something to say about this story? Send us a letter or leave a comment below.
SUPPORT NONPROFIT JOURNALISM
