HUMOR |
By Royal Calkins
Predicting events can prove challenging for even the most prescient, but we here at Voices of Monterey Bay are nothing if not forward thinking. Here are some of the local headlines we expect to see in the coming year.
JANUARY
Mozingo skips Carmel council meeting to prepare for British bar exam
Aquarium tweet calls sea lions “Pigs of the Sea”
FEBRUARY
Jerry Edelen reclaims DRO mayorship, declares martial law
Sand City annexes Seaside, raises sales tax
Carmel Mayor Potter proposes to hold council meetings at Il Fornaio
MARCH
Mozingo sues himself
Cal Am discounts bills for water board members
APRIL
MPC board bars trustees from north of Carmel
Supervisors Adams, Alejo exchange blows
MAY
Mozingo adds more assistant city attorneys as cost-cutting move
Sheriff Bernal spotted in Monterey County
Former county schools chief Kotowski opts to unretire
JUNE
Trump turned away at Pebble Beach gate for lack of papers
Phyllis Meurer replaces Steadman as Cal Am spokesmodel
JULY
Salinas converts new police headquarters into homeless camp
Steve Dallas opens Ocean Avenue massage parlor
AUGUST
P.G. City Council declares itself irrelevant
Caltrans says work on Highway 68 bridge will start over
Cal Am hires AT&T as customer service consultant
SEPTEMBER
Cannery Row Co. converts American Tin Cannery to casino/cannabis operation
Cal Am accuses PUC of bias against price gouging
OCTOBER
Monterey police plan crackdown on anything that might result in actual arrests
To save paper, Monterey Herald drops vowels and punctuation
NOVEMBER
Former Marina water official Gustafson apologizes for failing to offend some groups
Del Monte Center slated to become Amazon warehouse
DECEMBER
Marina marijuana activist Kevin Saunders lights hair on fire
County bans hiking on Toro Park hiking trails
Mozingo joins Trump administration as fact checker
Cal Am adds holiday surcharge to water bills
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Royal this was laugh out loud funny – bravo and here’s to that new year
You had me at Mozingo sues himself. Lol great morning read!
I must say the most right on and entertaining insights you have ever written. I must be getting soft in the new year.